george carlin quotes government
This made him outstanding. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. You have owners. Its interested in its own power. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. . They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. 50 The Alchemist Quotes To Make You Follow Your Dreams, 195 Best Cobra Kai Quotes (Seasons 1 5), 70 Attack On Titan Quotes That Will Inspire Greatness, 37 The Lion King Quotes Filled With Powerful Life Lessons, Your email address will not be published. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. Your email address will not be published. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("resource", "author_22782"); We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. Period. I look at war a little. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, 21. Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. return cookiePair[1]; What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! Thank you! All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. And probably increase.George Carlin, And heres something else, another problem you might have: Suppose your prayers arent answered. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. (function() { ! I hate groups of people. Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. Source; . Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? Electricity is really just organized lightning. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! All rights reserved. People are wonderful one at a time. "Never argue with an idiot. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. You and I are not in the big club. Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, It turned out I was pretty good in science. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. The challenge is to find it. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. A Death! How are YOU going to tackle today? Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. That is against their interests. Thats the problem. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. he must of been a brilliant man mostly misunderstood by most people wish i would of met him in person one on one, 51 Best John Muir Quotes On Nature, Mountains, Trees, 50 To Kill A Mockingbird Atticus Quotes With Page Numbers, Happy Birthday Nephew Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Daughter Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Good Morning Happy Monday Images With Quotes, Wishes, Cute & Romantic Happy Birthday Love Images For Him, Her, Happy Birthday Dog Images With Quotes For Your Puppy, Happy Birthday Niece Images With Wishes, Messages, Quotes, Depression Quotes Images | Feeling Sad Pictures, Wallpaper, Happy Birthday Son Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Husband Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages For Hubby, Good Morning Quotes Images To Make Your Day Beautiful. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. - George Carlin profile quotes. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . We just believed everything. // page settings George Carlin died on June 22, 2008, from cardiac failure at the age of 71. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. Quotes. We think in language. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. Nobody owns anything. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. This is what we have to offer. Save the planet! George Carlin 13. var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. 3. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want: They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. " George Carlin 15. Hes not a cheese. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. > Quotable Quote. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. var url; Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. George Carlin George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. And armbands. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. October 29, 2004. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. 4. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Its never going to get any better. " George Carlin Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. You don't. You have no choice. Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? function q(c, r) { }()); Required fields are marked *. I love individuals. Its so f***ing heroic. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("grsession", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. Creative Commons. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops? They own everything. Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. They're imaginary. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. This is the best we can do folks. Others see it half empty.I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be.George Carlin, Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Try spelling Evian backward. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. Theres no present. }); George Carlin > Quotes (?) Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. The only country that could invade America is America! Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. George Carlin. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. ' George Carlin, 30. if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. The planet is fine. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. for(var i=0; i
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