funny responses to what are you doing this weekend
Whenever people accept this answer, I know I am dealing with human beings who understand their goodness as a constant learning process. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?". I have a colleaguestraight white well-employed middle-class-raised Christian cis man, so about as privileged as you can get in Americawho opts out of a lot of what he considers to be optional social stuff. He doesnt need to be that nosy about how you spend your time. I used this to train my mom to use text/email instead, because 1) I hate phone and 2) a written message means much less chances of either one of us getting the details wrong. Since youre not busy, do you want to go to [event] with me? Just kind of wanting to converse by text or something. So, when they ask what youre doing this weekend and seem likely skip ahead to of course youre going to my potluck and bringing the thing I promised everyone youll bring without actually asking you and/or so you can babysit ALL WEEKEND LONG, be ok with letting them down. This week is bad for me, but next week Im free except Tuesday. Theres nothing bad with setting them and enforcing them, and if youre dealing with people who cant respect them, the question itself is not the biggest problem in the relationship. Why do you ask? Its a polite way of communicating WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? Youre my first choice, but you are not my last hope., (3) So, I know this is a little awkward, but recently Ive realized I like you in a um well, in a romantic way, and I would love it if we could maybe go out on a date sometime and see how that goes? I have actually thought about writing in about this one as well. It follows the script they want, which is that the person they are targeting needs their approval of their reason for pleading off. I'll leave you to be the judge of when it's most appropriate, all . Its totally true that you can opt out of those things. But I think it tracks beyond that particular experience. Thinking of seeing [movie]. Yup, there is a trust relationship to be established, because as detailed above, this question is frequently used with a threat of violence attached. I am definitely not math or sciencey, just like my me time, so that wouldnt have occurred to me. Like, OK, were not people who talk to each other about our lives beyond the weather and traffic, cool. My nos are not because I dont like you! Of course I only say that to the people I like lol. Absolutely! Anything fun planned? I'm going to say this to my parents. Re #1, true that. Oh my goodness I didnt even realize this was posted and then it took awhile for me to read through all of the responses. Its great! It almost feels like if they just sneak up on me with some super fun plans I might say yes more often. Rob: I'm just leaving for work. eh, my mother does that. !" 6) "Come back here weekend!! Weekend gone! I usually end up saying something noncommittal like I might be doing xyz, but Im not sure yet why? and waiting to see what the actual deal is. LWs parent. I dont know whether youre being too thoughtful or not thoughtful enough here. Yes! I dont give any indication as to what I am up to until they tell me what they are up to. My blood pressure. Born and raised in the US, and I also think this is a weird question not to answer literally. They know this. Some variation of were busy or we have plans works better. Sometimes, answering a question with a question is the best strategy. Do you know the meaning of the weekend? However, there are a lot of male people who use this approach on female people because they are trying to be coercive. Good to know! Hmm, just tried re-creating my original comment and thats not showing up either. Because people look forward to the weekend, they often start talking about it as early as Wednesday. But I have wondered if I answer with imaginary bf and I have x-plans, if the questions would stop. If they want to tell you about their job, they can. Its a way of saying I enjoy spending time with you in a general sense, but without any plans to actually do that. Best of luck to you, dear LW! And do you trust the asker not pull a But you SAID you were free, that means YOU PROMISED!(for me, someone who puts pressure on/pouts/lays on a guilt trip after I say no to an invitation gets an automatic LOL NOPE FOREVER response. Im sure to him thats bewildering, but to me its bewildering that for so long he simply refused to choose to behave with appropriate respect. Theres an important underlying truth here that I think we all have trouble with: We are not required to answer every question put to us. What are you doing Thursday is a way to start a convo gently and without losing face, giving the answerer has the option of answering negatively, positively, or neutrally. Threading has run out, so replying to your top comment, spd please try to avoid using the word spazzy. I know its a big favor, but obviously I would pay you, and I have cable, high-speed internet, and a chocolate fountain with dark, milk, and bittersweet streams. Of course, you might have said that when you know that movie will be out for weeks and youd absolutely prefer to have an excuse to build a couch cushion fort and have an audience who is actually impressed by your terrible magic tricks, and no one wins. Then there is the Miss Manners rebuff, where the pitch is level until the final word is raised. Canned responses are pre-written messages that allow customer support agents to respond to customer issues at the drop of a hat. Nothing? Oh my god I have to go to (thing) which is (plaaaaace). It sounds like he'd get into some fun and adventurous dates. why do you ask? when Im texting or emailing. You? Never trust Calvin, even if you see Hobbes! Is it a throwaway social nicety, or a veiled attempt to get you to accept a task or invite? Born and bred in southern California, how are you? asked of/by a stranger functions, for me, like any scripted greeting, pretty comparable to an all right with or without the interrogative in that a detailed (or even particularly honest) response is not expected and in many cases wont be acknowledged because it wont be heard (because no one is listening for it). Updog. Thaaats what Im telling myself about my children anyway. "Thank you, I appreciate that.". I should add it somewhat depends on how well I know the person. I think my aunt asks this question for the same reason you do. )in a way that seems to be back firing. And Im totally ok with that. I think it would be helpful for folks to give LW the benefit of the doubt that she/he is not taking the time to write in to an advice column over very simple coworker small talk questions. Oh, the usual, you? When I tell you Ill be meal planning this weekend thats not an invitation for you to tell me all of your diet ideas and which meals are healthier. single. Based on your listed interests, it looks like we have a lot in common. Given that the cousin is seeking babysitting, What are you doing on Thursday, followed by, Great, youre available to babysit for me! is an incredibly rude and pushy way to go about asking for that favor. This is about the blandest, most banal small talk question I can think of.). Sometimes, it's good to be a little silly and fun! I love organizing events and I confess to having asked that annoying question several times, mostly in order to know if a particular friend I would love to invite is available on that date. A short, simple reply can be all it takes for you to let them know you appreciate their comment. It can mean I want to make plans if youre freewhich, for me at least, isnt so much plan it for me as planning is hard, lets establish if theres even an open time slot before we nail down the details. She gets what crowds people like and is on point with inviting me to the right events. I just had a talk with my DD about this- she will text me do we have plans Saturday I usually respond with Why? Obviously we have a different relationship than a friend to friend thing. So threatening to make her move out is just not wise. This one is a bit tricky for me. E- Engage in the fun. This comment has clarified a thing for me. As long as I sound friendly, folks who have no ulterior motive take it at face value, and the ones who are being invasively nosy, or hoping to trick me into something, are taken aback and sometimes given subtle notice that I will set boundaries Answer accordingly. 2. But if someone says what are you doing tomorrow night and I say painting my toenails in front of Netflix, that leaves me without a graceful out. I dont think she feels disliked; theres really not a lot of conflict for us. Wake up late Sunday morning and go ride or play in the mud. Because everybodys got something. Speaking about sudden change of moods and plans, and friends getting you: Several years ago, at the phone, ten minutes before a scheduled meeting with my friends in a pub to watch the incoming results of the Brexit referendum. So, it's perfectly . So, it's important to read the situation and know how well the person asking you out will respond to a little joke. They see how often constantly males can throw a tantrum about how theyre being bitches, where the males only complaint is, I asked her questions, and she refused to answer! That alone is enough for him to feel justified in escalating the threats, anger, violence. 4. Not always). To me, thats pretty manipulative and when its done I generally conclude that its done on purpose. If youd rather not, I would love to immediately pretend this never happened and talk about dinosaurs for the next ten minutes, and then never bring it up again. So the question layers, starting with are you free Saturday? Are a strategy Ive used to hopefully take the pressure off other people. You'll hear it regularly in speech, and people actually might think it sounds funny/wrong to say "Well.". It can be so hard to set boundaries with the inlaws! Acquaintances or co-workers get a vague answer, like, {5 words to say Im in/out of town or am/arent super booked}, then, What are you up to? because its really just small talk. And my mom thought I was like the most studious kid ever, because I knew that if I ever looked like I had free time, she would fill it with chores, so I always had some kind of project to work on (I did have the grades to back this up or it wouldnt have worked). I am on the spectrum, so I would anxiety-spiral about whether, once again, I missed a basic social skill everyone else learned in kindergarten. My husbands family is large and I generally love them, but sometimes I just do not want to eat little smokies and chips with 40 other people in a loud house with tons of screaming children. Its tiring. And then they get all pissy because the girl is taken aback by being asked out so abruptly by this guy about whom she knows pretty much nothing except his appearance. So of course, you tell her, youll all walk separately from now on (keep the cheery loud voice of happy certainty and smile hugely the whole time). Its just in the past year or so that its cropped up repeatedly, with different people at different establishments. E- Excitement. Im glad its not a way to get rid of someone/blow them off without saying so. What are you doing this weekend? She's asking because she's interested in your plans specifically. The Im entitled to your assistance is the MINOR part of this.). For example, Looking forward to the weekend? or I hope you get to relax this weekend.; My take is that if they wish to continue the conversation, they will do so, but if not, they can reply with a Yes/No. If its just a soft open to an invitation, you can be annoyed by it, or you can say, I dunno, you?. I understand the concept, but it seems to me that getting an invitation after revealing that you were nominally free at that time would make refusal even harder, not easier. Ive now got a standard policy of dont know, Ill have to check my calendar and get back to you. If I say why and she responds with something easily done another time or only sort of appealing, Ill judge it against a nice evening of doing nothing and maybe pass. I have myself been asked that question when relatives have been looking for a babysitter so that is why it especially resonated with me. friend: yooooooooo goodyou Well, have fun whatever you end up doing / decide to do. Her dad would not agree with a move to force her to move out. 1. You went out and you didnt even invite me? he said, Well I asked you if you had plans and you said you were doing homework! Well yeah, because I had no other plans at that time because you did not indicate to me that there were any other options! "Hi" or "Hello". Im working on this myself. If she wants to NOT have some other grownup setting a price on her activities occasionally, she can get a job and move out, and then I wont be saying, a couple of times a month, if youre home tonight, I need you for X..