my boyfriend disappears for hours

The first been that you disrespected or the second you said or did something that he took as rejection. They exhibit several behaviors that leave us scratching our heads and leave us scowling, but other times they can surprise us as well. I'll be the first to say it. So, dont ever become the old, boring housemom. Right now I'm so upset and unsettled. Not to say all guys are like this, but sometimes they don't realize how worried we can get and they get caught up and forget to keep us updated. My boyfriend went to the gym at 7:00pm got there around 7:14pm and has been gone ever since. Anybody else? The only thing I can think is his location history, I'm going to demand to see it and if he refuses today for me to see it or it's all deleted I'm going to know he is hiding something. Ill give away some help here for the ladies. This is the myth that has a lot of single men running for the hills when faced with a potential long-term relationship. and our Have you considered ummm communicating when the disrespect happened. Men enjoy their space and freedom. Ghosting! I'm really broken by this because something doesn't sound right. Maybe that's how he see's it. Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest? 2. This may surprise most women out there but guys are actually really really straight forward, most (90%) do not have the time nor patience to play games. He calls when he says he's going to, he takes you out, and he tells you how great you are. And then the next minute youre realizing you might not hear from him for a length of time and you just have to sit back and let him come to his own conclusion about what he wants. Its despicable and hurtful to string a girl along even though the man isnt interested. He just tells me things like "I've been busy with med school. I (22F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (23M) for two months. Is he cheating on me? This is typical male behavior in most cases. P.S. By a mans logic, he wants to be the one in control of the relationship. To a lot of men in general, settling down with a special someone means impending doom. Things were going well, talked about the future. Ghosting has existed since the dawn of time pretty sure I once saw a cave . 2. How very narcissistic. Go through his phone if you need to.. (which a lot of people on here will give me shit for, but idc) I feel like you deserve to get to the bottom of this especially if you're carrying his child. So, in essence, the man is letting his self-absorbedness help him coast by through the expense of the women hes supposedly too busy to make time for. Maybe instead of dealing with it, he pushed it aside for 17 months until he met you and then you very quickly moved in together and you became a fast replacement for the wife he lost. "48 Hours" investigates disappearance of married Wisconsin couple 03:48. 1: If he was paying you a lot of attention, always had time for you, always made plans for you, always texted back quickly and then dissapears it will usually come down to either 2 things. A man who disappears when things are seemingly going well is not a man you want to pursue a relationship with. My other coworker in the office let's say his name is Bob has developed a habit over the past 12 months. Tina C. is a young Jill of All Trades who aspires to be a best-selling author someday. Here's how this goes: You meet him and spend a few terrific nights or weeks with him. I would assume men would say that, he totally sounds like he is full of it. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); No. Now, my point- I'm successful . Sadly, this is the sign of a weak relationship and youre best to move on as quickly as you can. He could be the guy who wants to take you on a small getaway one day, and then he will suddenly scrap that idea and want to hang out with his friends instead. Guys respond to DIRECT . Is this consistent with the new behavior? My goodness. My boyfriend turns his phone off for many hours and disappears. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. This gets in the way of any new relationship and is a hard hurdle to overcome. No matter their reasoning, being afraid of commitment should not be an excuse to disappear and hurt a potential significant other. Remember guys feel just as much as women albeit differently and if I guy suddenly drops off the radar , confront him face to face and demand an answer (Yes this will click in his head that he actually means something to you).if he doesnt answer and reappears, sit him the F**K down (if you want to try again) and get answers. He always thinks the grass may be greener on the other side. I just posted what the outcome was and it doesn't add up or make sense to me. You're Just Not A Priority For Him. paranoia and insecurity in relationships driving me crazy. By posting you agree that you have read the. It may be the beginning stages of him cheating. He seems like an overall fantastic guy and you'd gladly jump into bed with him. It means I really like talking to you, appreciate your text, and want to move the conversation forward, but am not in the mood to socialize in a high-impact way. I hope you understand" and stuff like that. It's supposed to be the honeymoon phase.if that's him at his best behavior, I'd hate to see how he is at his worst. And I'll be honest. My coworker disappears for hours every day. Do you have any hobbies of your own? A man is more biologically inclined to date more than one woman at the same time because it makes him feel desirable. He feels watched and monitored in his moves. I'd suggest getting some rest-- be it just laying down and drinking water or sleeping. Theres alot of scientific information out there on why guys do this and its usually none of the above. The last time I heard from him was 8:08pm we were texting about how I had been feeling like he's different with me and he tried to change the subject and started talking about names that we our going to name our baby on the way. He's just not that into you. Our team is four people two remote and two in the office. I normally don't do this but I looked at your post history and over the last month you have made several posts outlining bad things that happened in your relationship. Now, there are men out there who are unsure about what they want. When he disappears, you can still take. Reading through your comments and post you started questioning only ONE hour after he left, he replied to you at the start but if trying to exercise probably got tired of breaking off to answer you and left it, and maybe took an extra long session and went to grab some food afterward. He might do the slow fade out, meaning he stops initiating contact and when you reach out to him he takes hours or days to reply. He's an amazing, kind, affectionate person and I saw a future with him pretty much . And then return to you. My boyfriend went to the gym at 7:00pm got there around 7:14pm and has been gone ever since. We generally have a great relationship but at least once a year he freaks out over what seems to me to be a minor . He will feel successful and secure. A well-educated, well-read, and well-traveled individual, Tina takes pride in all of her work and loves trying something new. In mans logic, he pulls away to avoid breaking your heart when in reality, he is hurting you even more. So I found out he was working out upper body for 4 hours which is not like him smh. Hey, as a guy I will help you out. I called texted him FaceTime him and I haven't heard nothing! I want to stop being jealous of other couples. When things start to shift, the man has to make a choice about whether he wants to pursue the relationship or not. The main reason behind this could be that he wants something from you. For more information, please see our He now has a family, Christmas memories, summer vacations and just too much energy and finances invested. Should I yell at him? Ignoring doesnt always mean youre not his first priority. Because in a healthy relationship, this is where your guy's head is at. Chalk it up to him having his own reasons, his own issues, his own stuff, and then give it all to him. He should be up front about his hectic lifestyle at the beginning and be honest about it all instead of just disappearing without a trace. Im going to say bye now. Either way, I'd suggest to get some rest and calm down for a bit. However, there is a modern trend going right now, where a man in a relationship will disappear completely for a period of time and then, in some cases, return when the lady least expects it (although in many cases he doesnt return at all). I hope you understand" and stuff like that. I am 29 weeks pregnant with his first child and we live together. I just don't want to lied to by the man I'm having a baby with and have be 100% honest with. How do I stop being lealous while I'm single? . Just don't fall for it. isnt that what kids do when they havent learned how to handle their feelings? He said he was with a gym friend and I never heard of this friend and he couldn't text back because his I phone over heated in the sauna room..he said he then left the gym at 11:00m and then went to his cousins..he said he got some medicine from his cousins female friend but instead of him saying " his friend gave me this" he would say " her friend", gave me this. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! He has never done this. Does he work for the CIA or some other secret police. He has become a real part of you, and now, you are panicking about the fact that you might (literally) lose yourself when he disappears completely. No we were fine just texting about somethings but we weren't mad or arguing. How can I stop this? In my experience, the girl he dates more frequently, is the girl that is fun and likes to do sporty things, doesnt nag or ask what are we, looks good and healthy and keeps a good job and social life. No matter the reason he has for his unacceptable behavior, its best to walk away and find someone who is more worthy of your time, attention and affection. Just chill out and wait for him to come back, or if he doesn't in a couple of hours or by morning, get some sleep and when you wake up, investigate if he still hasn't shown up. I feel so lonely and upset right now, I have no one to talk to about this all I can do is sit and wait. Privacy Policy. This is what we should all be worrying about! It's also hurtful, for sure. However, you don't the reasons yet that is why be patient and be more considerate. Its basically a case of wanting his cake and eating it too. 64 children shown to have been killed by British military in Afghanistan, Official Imperial College 2023 Undergraduate Applicants Thread. Dont feel like you have to conform, love yourself. When it comes to relationships, no two men are completely alike. The reason you feel like you're going crazy is becasue you probably are. Its like all your dreams are coming true because you want this man in your life so badly! I (22F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (23M) for two months. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Should I bring it up with him? Pay Close Attention Here- In fact, a lot more men are commitment phobic because they want to keep their bachelor lifestyle going. He has a demanding career, a doting family, and possibly a busy social calendar. It's OK to follow-up with him once, but if he's not returning your message, leave it. I just found out my boyfriend is a cringe lord and now I [Both 32] My gf is cheating on me with an engaged man. Its the cowards way out, in reality, no matter what his intentions are. This comment is in response to Angeline. I hate to say it but it sounds like he needs a break. This is where the disappearing act comes in. Once you do this, let him know that if for any reason he felt the need to be alone or have his space, you are willing to give him that. In this case, a man thinks the grass is always greener on the other side and he believes that he is getting the best of both worlds with the different women he is stringing along. Over time, the narcissist disappears more and more, blaming you and your "intolerable insecurities, dreadful attitude, and lack of appreciation for them and the relationship". He cant seem to make up his mind about anything revolving around the relationship. Sometimes we just need to accept the reality that we can see right in front of us. React. Sometimes my boyfriend doesn't think to notify me when he's busy, such as going to the gym but then he runs into some friends and goes out to eat after. Even though he isn't your boyfriend, disappear just like that is such cowardly movement. The logic, however, should be that a man should avoid relationships if he lacks the time and mental frame to build one with someone special. No. Instead of second-guessing himself, he should really take a good look at everything going on with his life and being honest with himself instead of pulling away and disappearing. Again, the man is stringing this girl along, keeping her wondering and wanting instead of giving her the freedom to find love with another man. The last text he sent me 11 days ago was ''I dont know what to say to that. If you're pregnant, you need rest and not to panic. We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Volunteer Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out. It pushed me to the brink so I did the research to understand it. When there's no response, it leads to an increased feeling of panic that you've been deserted. He will not be making his mind up anytime soon and its not fair for you to invest your heart and time in him. However, even if he gets his dream girl, he will still see other girls at the same time. Part of me thinks this is the way he is. And it wasn't his upper body he was working. Sometimes, he texts and calls me during that time, but sometimes he doesn't. Hes got 3 or 4 girls on the stove at one time and cant decided which one he likes best. my boyfriend sometimes watches porn. There is a trend going on among men to disappear and reappear without an explanation. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Investigate. One of the best ways to make him realize that he should not do the disappearing act is to talk to him frankly and stress on the fact that there should not be any secrets between you. How do you tell whether a girl likes you or not. And then when his mother died and he was confronted with the feeling of grief again, all those feelings he pushed aside when he wife died came rushing back. If he doesn't respond to your concerns about the relationship or want to discuss them it means he does not care enough to fix it or to listen to you any longer. Peace out. Go with your gut! 1. Over birthday presents. His mom called me at 1:10am and told me her and his dad would come pick me up to go to the gym and see if he was there or his car. Sometimes men require some space to deal with their life and emotions. A man will walk away in the cases of disrespect, cheating and if he is confused. Another part thinks, yes, but I wouldnt like it. What if each time ge returns his pledge of lasting love convinces you once again that the disappearing game has ended? In reality, he is just causing heartache and pain to others, as well as himself. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. You may be the girl-next-door type who makes him feel great about himself and he will think he wants a bombshell to have on his arm instead. He doesn't reach out and he doesn't reply when you contact him. . Disappearing because of commitment issues is the work of a coward. My boyfriend is in his first year of med school.

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